Boob-Ha-Ha

Oh, couldn’t you just keel from the symbolism of ending the auction with a woman named Autumn, after auctioning goods by someone named Summer? It’s rich.

One of these days, I hope to have Summer and Autumn in the same room, just to see how many times my brain farts and I get their names mixed up.

Autumn’s the brain behind String Theory, but she’s also a craft show organizer extraordinaire. In fact, she’s much better-suited for this craft auction stuff than I am. It makes me cry sometimes because it’s hard. Anyway, Autumn’s responsible for the Strange Folk Festival (Sept. 22, 10 - 6 in O’Fallon, IL). She’s also responsible for this Most Autumnal of Handbags:

Cotton paisley. Rust felt. Makes me want to jump in the leaves.

I’ve written so many of these posts in the past three days that I’m obviously bordering on bad poetry. So I’ll just say that bidding begins at $20 $36.

Monday morning, the bidding begins! Instructions will be reposted but if you want to brush up on what this is about, take a look at the first post.

Happy bidding! Happy boobies!

Ah, those crazy people on the internet. Is there actually anyone out there who still thinks that only crazy people meet on the internet? What about crazy people, their boyfriends, and their 78-year-old moms?

Amy has been a commenter on my blog for as long as I can remember. She works near my new house and we talked about getting together for coffee once I got settled, which still hasn’t happened. That didn’t stop me from letting her and her boyfriend into my house when they showed up on my doorstep today with a bag full of auctionables.

It was lovely, of course, and they’re both coming to the shindig next week. No one was abducted by Crazy Internet People.

As for that 78-year-old mom of hers, we didn’t get to meet, but she’s responsible for a big portion of the auction items non-stalker Amy brought with her today.

Just let it be known that had Amy been some crazed internet stalker, I would have died for boobies. Viva la boobies!

Dulcimer Pillow Pair

Amy’s mom cross-stitched this beautiful pair of throw pillows. They’re classics in burgandy with white piping. Bidding begins at $25 $31.

Pink Lady Pillow

Another classic, this time with green velvet and a lovely Victorian lady. Bidding begins at $15 $21.

Seashell Pillow

Beautifully detailed cross-stitched conched shell on a soft burgandy pillow. Bidding begins at $15.

Amy did some stuff, too.

Silk Herbal Eye Mask

You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to use this mask all day. I’ve had a raging sinus headache that still lingers despite a lot of ibuprofin and two dates with a neti pot. And here I have this gorgeous, knitted silk eye mask, filled with dried peppermint, lavender and flax seeds that hold heat when microwaved or cold when chilled. You’d still bid on it if I gave it a test run, right? Well, I didn’t, so you can start bidding at $15 $171> (Yes, you read that correctly).

“Unbiased” Sari Silk Bag

If you kni, you undoubtedly know about the coolness that is sari silk. It’s made by women in Nepal from the cut fabric ends left over when saris are made. No two skeins are alike, and the sale of the yarn provides a living for some of the most impoverished women in the world. Plus, it’s gorgeous.

The pattern for the purse appeared in Knitty but Amy’s added one vast improvement to the original - two magnetic clasps to keep this loose, casual purse closed. Bidding starts at $25 $41.

I’ll bet a lot of you are regular readers of Fluid Pudding, the blog hosted by my pal Angela.

That’s right. She’s my pal. I always feel terribly boastful when I mention our friendship on my blog or to other bloggers, since she’s somewhat of a biggie amongst Mommy Bloggers. Fact is, if it wasn’t for her, you probably wouldn’t be reading me, because I think about 95% of my readership came directly from her recommendation when I started Poppymom a little over three years ago.

Since you probably read Fluid Pudding, you no doubt know that she’s crafty. She gets around. She’s crafty. She’s always down. She’s crafty. She’s got a gripe. She’s crafty. She’s just my type. And I say this only because among her writing and crafting talents, Angela claims to know all the words to the entire Licensed to Ill album, a claim I intend to make her prove one of these days.

In the meantime, she knits and donates. Here’s what she’s got:

The Stripey Purse, made in my all-time favorite color combo of purple and green. Main body is 10 inches wide and 6 1/2 inches tall. Magnetic closure with decorative button. Bidding starts at $20. $51

Socks! She’s knit a pair of socks for the auction! You know you want these, especially if you’re a Harry Potter nerd. These are the Horcrux Socks. I’m not far enough along in the HP books to know what that means, but if you do, you know you want these for the upcoming movie and book releases:

100% Superfine Australian Merino Yarn (Worsted Weight)
Superwash (lay flat or tumble dry on delicate)
Perfect for lounging (or skating on hard wood) as you read Harry Potter
and The Deathly Hallows
Will (probably) fit women’s size 7-10ish or men’s size 5 1/2 to 8 1/2.
(UK 39-43). The opening bid will take $15 $31 from your book and movie budget.

Fluid Pudding. Felted Bowls. Both somewhat contradictory terms. Both awesome. While you can’t buy Fluid Pudding, you can buy her felted bowls.



Large striped bowl is 4 1/2 inches high and 5 inches wide.
Tiny red bowl is 3 inches high and 4 1/2 inches wide.
Tiny red bowl fits nicely into large striped bowl.

These are really cute for Christmas. Like, fill them with something that
smells good, or dump wrapped candy into them, or even put shiny
ornaments in them. THAT would be cute!

They’re fuzzy! And they’re bowls! That’s pretty fucking unexpected, no? Bidding begins at $20 $36.

Somebody has to take Bob Barker’s place. Wouldn’t be awesome if we could get him out of retirement to MC this shindig? Yeah, well.

I know you’re all dying to take a gander at the wares. I think I’ll do this by donor, so it seems only fair to start with Beqi. After all, it’s really her fault that this turned from a nice, simple dinner party with donations into a Boob-Ha-Ha. She’s forgiven, because it was a great idea and she’s offered three great items from her Beqi Clothing line.

Remember, bidding begins on Monday, July 9th at midnight central time. Email you the name of your item (it’s in bold in the descriptions) and your bid amount to bids@boobhaha.com. Please include your name and email address. If you’re outbid, we’ll let you know post-haste so you can up the ante. Don’t place your bids in the comments!!! This is like an election - it’s secret, except to whoever’s capable of hacking into our flimsy electronic system.

First, we have a peek at Beqi’s fall line with one of her brand-spankin’-new aprons:

Go on and ask me how badly I want to wear this the night of the auction, being the Martha Stewart clone that I am. Bidding for this hand-crafted apron begins at $20 $46.

Won’t you be lucky if you’re the winning bidder on the Chop Shop Coin Purse?

Actually, you won’t be lucky. You’ll be Cherry. The photo sports a different patch than the one up for auction. I think calling this a coin purse is a bit of an understatement. It’s almost a foot long, so I think it’s more of a clutch. Coin purse, clutch, tampon holder, whatever. It’s cute. It’s got a zipper so you won’t loose your goods, and bidding starts at $15.$16.

I’ve almost bought the Micka Purse from Beqi more times than I can count:

For one thing, I’m a sucker for red with white polka dots. I’m a sucker for polka dots, period. Just as I’m a sucker for purses. And a sucker for British pop sensation Mika and his anthem to fat girls everywhere, Big Girl (You Are Beautiful).

What were we talking about? Right! The purse! It’s heavy canvas. Believe me, I’ve put several of Beqi’s purses through some severe abuse and they are t-u-f-f. The purse measures, oh, it’s a good-sized bag. I’ll gladly post actual measurements at some point, if you’d like. Bidding begins at $20.$36

Now, get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge and find yourself a big lay-dee! But don’t spend all your money on drinks. Buy that cute big girl a Brand-Spankin’ New Apron, Chop Shop Coin Purse, or Micka Purse. Delight her, and help save her bodacious ta-tas. Remember, every penny you bid goes to benefit the Komen Foundation through Team Boobylicious and the 3-Day.