Boob-Ha-Ha

My friend Raquel cracks me up to no end. Not just when she’s groping our mutual friends in public, either. That’s okay, really, because Raquel’s a radiologist who’s spent a chunk of her career administering mammograms. So what if she occasionally gives them to her friends, at lunch, and without any x-ray equipment? Boobs are her business.

No, that’s not what cracks me up with Raquel. What never ceases to make me life is what an idea person she is. Always coming up with ideas, plans, more ideas. She was one of the first people to know about Boob-Ha-Ha, and for a good six weeks I’ve been listening to her speculate on what she might donate. An oil painting from a class she’s taking? Cookies? Something she’s knit? The ottomans she’s reupholstered that her husband’s going to hate when he returns from Iraq?

In the end, she did exactly what I did: raided her stash of homemade goodies and did a little recycling. In this case, it’s wonderful Sunshine Yarn hand-painted, hand-dyed sock yarn.

Sunshine Yarn - Reef

100 grams, 450 yards 100% superwash merino wool. Machine-washable. Bidding starts at $20 $36.

Sunshine Yarn - Airy TD

100 grams, 450 yards 100% superwash merino wool. Machine-washable. Pattern included. Bidding starts at $20 $36.

Sunshine Yarn - Oh Baby!

100 grams, 450 yards 100% superwash merino wool. Machine-washable. Bidding starts at $20 $36.

I’d like to think that by donating someone else’s handmade goods, this will free Raquel’s schedule up for her latest creative endeavors, such as strapping M-120s to generic Barbie dolls and videotaping the carnage.

Dye-a-Bolical. Get it? It’s like, evil, but with dye.

Knitters beware: my pal Rachel’s yarns are diabolical - so beautiful that you’ll be instantly hooked and your money will go flying out of your wallet at the mere hint of that evil laugh. She hand-paints and hand-dyes all these fabulous yarns from her apartment.

I have so much Dye-a-Bolical that I could knit socks for a family of millipedes and still have plenty leftover to make socks for my gargantuan feet. Right now I’m making a pair in Dye-a-Bolical Salmon. No, I’m not auctioning them and no, you can’t talk me into it.

But we are auctioning two yarns that Rachel so graciously offered, despite the fact that after we visit her place of employment she has to restock all the yarns my kid has displaced and occasionally call a large man in a kilt to unclog the toilet, also courtesy of my kid. And believe me, my kid’s not flushing the yarn, if you know what I mean.

For you insane people who like to fiddle with hand-made lace, we’ve got a 100 gram/ 880 yard hank of Dye-a-Bolical “Almost Purple” in 100% merino laceweight.

You know how monitors and cameras can distort colors. To my eye, the yarns’s more purple while the photos are a bit on the periwinkle side. Regardless, it’s got lovely, subtle varigations from pale lavender to dark, nearly purple lavender. Opening bid is $20. $61.

For those of you who, like me, fear lace, there’s Flowershop Inferno:

There’s 100 grams/280 yards of this DK-weight, 100% superwash merino wool. It’ll knit up into socks in no time; the gauge is 6-8 stitches per inch on US #2-4 needles. Or 5.5 stitches per inch on US #5-7 needles in case socks aren’t your thing. Let the bidding begin at $20.$31.